- “Resilience is that ineffable quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever. Rather than letting failure overcome them and drain their resolve, they find a way to rise from the ashes.”
That is Psychology Today’s definition of resilience, to – despite disappointment or defeat – bounce back and carry on. After the results of the England V Italy game last night I thought I would share my top tips for being resilient.
Resilience isn’t easy, we often run into setbacks and defeat and that can be really discouraging. Disappointment and discouragement makes it very easy to forget how far you have come, for example the loss of last night’s game could distract us, and the team, from the fact that the last time they made it to the finals was 55 years ago – despite not winning the match, the England team made history over the past few weeks. Sports teams are trained to be resilient, they are trained to bounce back from their losses and carry on fighting. They use their losses as lessons and ‘come back stronger than ever’ and I am excited to see this displayed in the World Cup next year! But what about those of us who haven’t been trained to be resilient?
Sometimes life can knock us down, it can place hurdles in our way and can make completing the easiest of tasks seem like running through the Total Wipeout obstacle course in a blindfold. Hurdles and blocks are something that we can’t avoid, they are out of our control, and as I like to say ‘don’t stress about the things you can’t control’. What we can control though, is how we react to these situations and how we let them affect us. So many factors go into being resilient, the first is to never lose sight of your why. Here is a short extract from my new book SMASH IT! The Art of Getting What YOU Want.
‘If your why isnt strong enough you will find it’s easy to lose track of your goal and let it pass by the wayside. As soon as you hit a bump in the road you will be ready to dump your goal quicker than the Love Island contestants at a recoupling. Whereas if you know why you want something and that why is really strong, it helps you to keep your mind focussed on the end result.”
What this means is that you need to know why you want something and you need to want it enough to fight for it. This is where passion comes into play, if you are truly passionate about something you won’t let anything set you back. This is why the football players bounce back after every match – because they are driven by their passion for the sport. That is their why. Sometimes though, we have to stay resilient to things that we aren’t passionate about. There are 7 driving forces that I like to use to work out my why.
Ethical & Moral
Power & Influence
These 7 categories can help you decide exactly what your why is so you have a clear vision to help you stay on track. I discuss more about this in SMASH IT! The Art of Getting What YOU Want, but it’s a great tool to understand motivation.